Can Natural Styles be Elegant?

I know natural styles can be elegant. I believe they can be whatever you want them to be. It’s the beauty of natural hair, versatility. But I didn’t always think this way. It took time for me to see the beauty in natural hair, partly because I hadn’t been exposed to much. Not many people wore their natural hair where I’m from (relatively small town in the midwest). I’ve moved away from home and since then have been exposed to different things in various towns and cities, but many people in my hometown (including my family) have not, so the old mindset of natural=nappy remains.

So here I am, back home for a bridal shower, and I get some looks, but nothing major. A few people comment (positively) on my hair. I visit my grandmother later and she asks how I’m going to wear my hair for the wedding. I tell her I’m checking out a few natural salons in Chicago to see what they recommend because I have no clue what to do with my hair. I also mentioned a conversation I had with my best friend (bride-to-be also natural) last night where she loved my current go-to hairstyle (flat twist out) and said it would be fine if I wore it that way for the wedding. My grandma is like “oh no, you need to get it done!” Lol. I’m thinking, but my hair IS done! She began to explain that she means professionally, not the fact that natural can’t look “done”, but I had already been discouraged.

The conversation definitely should not have bothered me, but it did. I know not everyone will like my styles. If I’m being completely honest with myself, it took me some time to like my styles. But I love them now. When I got dressed for the bridal shower this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought “you are rockin this hair!”, now I’m looking at the same exact style like “is this really cute, or is it a mess? (which is why there are no pictures tonight, haha. No seriously, I’ll upload them later)

It’s amazing how one conversation can attack your confidence…if you allow it. I allowed it for a moment. But even as I write, I feel my confidence being restored. Because as I mentioned in an earlier post this journey from relaxed to natural is about so much more than hair. It’s about being confident and loving the skin I’m in. It’s about being who I want to be, not what others think I should be. There will be challenges with this, because it’s uncomfortable if this is not how you’re used to being, but it’s still achievable.

With that said, and getting to what this post was originally going to be about 🙂 I’m in search of cute, natural styles for a wedding. I’m very nervous about going to a stylist because I had such bad experiences when I would go for a relaxer. It seems impossible to find one who listens to you, and I’ve been putting too much effort into my hair for someone to screw me over in a matter of hours. But I’m going to give it a shot (currently looking at Chatto Salon in Chicago, IL). I just have no clue what style to try. I’m hesitant to try weaves since I’ve never been one for weaves (just personal taste, nothing deep). I’ve checked out a few styles and I guess I’m drawn to twists outs, twist up-dos, etc. so I suppose I will start there.

What natural styles have you rocked at formal events?
What’s been your experience with natural salons?



5 thoughts on “Can Natural Styles be Elegant?

  1. I think i’ve asked you this before, have you tried getting a flexi rod set? You can wear down or a nice pinned up style on a flexirod set.

    I am still at times struggling with my hair from time to time. Take for example today, all day I hated my hair, because it just didn’t look are act the right way in my eyes. I wear scrubs to work, and with my hairstyle that i had i felt even more uncomfortable and frumpy. I wore my hair in one of my infamous updo, with a hump in the bang area and pinned up with a claw clip in the back. On the other hand, all last week i was so in love with my hair. Yeah i think i seriously have a love/hate relationship going on with my hair.

    Your Grandma meant no harm, at least I hope so. I have a male friend ask me when I was getting my hair done, my hair was in a ponytail …I was kinda annoyed by the comment, but tried not to think too much on it. On another day I blew out my hair and flat ironed it and the same friend ran his hand through my hair and said, “Wow, you have a lot of hair.” My hair was all over the place and wasn’t styled. You see you can’t please everyone. You have to first please yourself.

    I have never visited a natural hair salon before, nor have i went to a formal event with my natural hair. I had braids in at the time of the formal event.

    • I haven’t tried flexirods yet, but I’ve seen people that had amazing results with them, so I do plan to give them a try.

      You’re absolutely right that my grandma meant no harm. I knew it during the conversation (especially after she explained everything to me!), I think I’m just really sensitive to how I look since I feel like I’m going through such a different phase.

      I may still be in a love/hate relationship with my hair as well…but like with any relationship, you’ll have your ups and downs right?

      I’m really nervous about this wedding though lol, I’m trying to set up a consultation with this salon in Chicago, so we’ll see how that goes. I will keep you posted! You’re always so encouraging!

  2. Pingback: Wedding Hair Worries, Calmed « curlstories

  3. Pingback: Versatility « curlstories

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